07.17.11

From Miami to Savannah 3rd World Style

Posted in Travel at 8:38 pm by Administrator

We grabbed a cab – at the crack of the Miami dawn – driven by a Russian guy who had thick Mr. Magoo glasses that magnified his eyes to the size of saucers.  I was flailing my arms wildly in the back seat holding up the iPhone map and shouting “You’re going the wrong way!”. He craned his neck and mumbled “Nyet, nyet, is okay” as the vehicle took a sickening swerve toward the guard rail. The meter was up over $40 and we were stopped at the end of a dead-end street facing a gator-infested canal before the driver conceeded we might be lost. With firm but kind instructions I insisted on directing us and we arrived at the Miami Amtrak Station with enough time to complete some complex bi-lingual re-negotiations of the bloated fare.

In China there is a new high-speed train between Shanghai and Beijing that can go as fast as 200mph!  In The Good Old USA, Amtrak loaded us into railroad carriages that appear to have been purchaced from Pancho Villa’s troop train after the Mexican Revolution, and haven’t been cleaned since.  However the air conditioning worked . . . with a vengence! We huddled in our parkas for the 12 hour ride to Savannah, GA. Arriving two hours late because the train has to “go slower in the rain”! For all that, it was cheaper, faster and more comfortable than flying, and there are no TSA agents to grope you before you board.

Now, in Savannah, a beautiful city we have visited before, we expect to dine like Pashas and wallow in the Cee-ment pond to beat the heat.

Remain calm, more information to follow.

07.11.11

Miami Beach Jurassic reptiles

Posted in Travel at 1:30 am by Administrator

Hello,

I know by now that you are frantic, searching the intertubes for word of our status. Rest easy ’cause here is a SitRep:

After being stripped down by the TSA then unceremoniously stuffed into a titanium cylinder and propelled at un-natural speeds through the clouds, we arrived in Miami. We are now comfortably installed in Al & Bryon’s dee-lux condo in Miami Beach where we can see the Miami downtown skyline from the balcony.

The fourth of July celebration was vaguely reminiscent of “Shock and Awe” over Baghdad!  Uneasy at this display of jingoistic abulia we felt we had no choice but to flee North to The Everglades where we boarded an airboat and tried to blend in with atavistic Jurassic-era carnivors. However, the way these beasts started eye-balling us did nothing good for my jet-lagged neural tissue. Nothing to do but to race back to Miami and start packing away the Cuban chow. Plantains, black beans, rice, grilled fish with an iced cold beer is tough to beat!

In a hyperactive Cuban cafecito fueled buzzing daze we have been flailing about in the swimming pool. My sunburn is coming along nicely. Down on Ocean Ave. We sat outdoors under the awning in the tropical rain watching slack-jawed at the Black Film Festival beautiful people crowd as they were furiously cutting deals while wearing stiletto high heels and bikinis.

Naturally, I had to drain a margharita the size of a buick to regain my wits, but I’m happy to report we’ve reached a sort of chemical compromise between the jet-lag, alcohol, and Caffeine.

Stay tuned – film at 11.